


Through Thick and Thin

by InkstainedGwyn



Category: Persona 4
Genre: All of the Tropes, Angst, Drama, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Tropes, it's cheesy af and I'm not gonna apologise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 19:37:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11653317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkstainedGwyn/pseuds/InkstainedGwyn
Summary: Yosuke misses Souji, but that's normal. When he finds out that his partner's been in an accident, though, he takes a second look at what Soujireallymeans to him - and what life would be like without him. (Happy ending, ofc.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Post-game AU where it takes almost losing Souji to teach Yosuke how much his partner means to him. Angst, fluff, and a happy ending. Very self-indulgent, I'm well aware of just how dramatic and cheesy it is.

_Uggghhhh oh my god it’s_ so hot _outside I think I’m going to die._

Yosuke wheeled his bike (with another broken chain, of course) along the Samegawa riverbank, desperately wishing he was already home, or at least in the shade, or _why couldn’t there at least be a breeze_. It was the height of summer vacation, but there was no respite for the brunette; he was living a third year’s nightmare of cramming and studying, and although it was a day off school he was coming from a group study session with his other third-year friends and Naoto.

He missed Souji. Not like that wasn’t obvious; with his best friend and partner hours away in Tokyo, the year dragged by, and the few times that Souji _did_ manage to visit just made the brunette miss him more. There was an underlying uneasiness to that thought - half-formed feelings (still strong despite having not been defined) which had never been fully acknowledged - but he continued to hide them away, distracting himself with the partners’ daily texts and phone calls and internet chats, Souji’s visits to Inaba, and the promise that if Yosuke could get into a college in the city, they’d room together. But all of that wasn’t _really_ enough. It wasn’t the same as seeing those silver eyes smiling at him, unhurried gait walking beside him, the casual slouch waiting at the edge of the floodplain for him every day. Just as the study sessions they held over skype just weren’t the same as having Souji sitting there, explaining those difficult concepts. 

And yet, those were all excuses. There were a thousand deeper reasons Yosuke missed Souji… but it was always easier to make an excuse. The end result was the same, anyway.

Souji _wasn’t_ here, and Yosuke _was_ lonely.

He’d just passed the steps down to the water when his phone, in his cargo pocket, rang; it was the familiar jingle that he heard every night when Souji called (he had a tutoring job, but Yosuke was no longer working at Junes to give him time to study, so their calls happened around Souji’s schedule.) Face brightening, the brunette reached into his pocket, grabbing his phone and sliding the dot on the screen over to “answer”.

“Heyyyy, partner!”

The sound that answered sent chills down his spine. It was a raspy gasp, as if the person on the other end had just run up a dozen flights of stairs; Yosuke wasn’t even sure it _was_ Souji until he’d spoken actual words.

The words made it worse.

“Yosuke, I- it hurts. Bus stop, car hit me.” The words were laboured, each one punctuated by a shaky breath, and the pain in Souji’s voice was so strong that Yosuke felt himself flinching even as the bottom dropped out of his world. It was so sudden, he couldn’t even wrap his brain around it fully, and he clung to his phone. 

“Oh my god. Call an ambulance, call somebody, are you going to be okay? I mean I know you’re not, but-” He’d never hated the 500 miles that separated the two of them more than he did at that moment. Even as he said the words, he found himself biting his tongue; _how do you ask someone who’s hurt if they’re going to be okay?_

Even worse, _how am I going to manage if something happens to Souji?_

He hated the silence that fell after he’d finished speaking, with more of the shaky breathing, as if his best friend was struggling to find his voice.

“Somebody called 119. Sending ambulance. But I had- had to call you. Don’t know if Mom would.”

The fact that Souji had thought about him even at a moment like this made Yosuke feel both happy and terrified. Happy that he seemed to always be on his partner’s mind; terrified because it sounded like a _farewell_ , and- no. No. It couldn’t be. This couldn’t be happening.

“Souji. Don’t push yourself. You need to rest, and-”

“Need- need to tell you, don’t know… if I’ll have another… chance.”

_No. No, no, no, no, no. This is too much like a farewell, this can’t be a farewell, dammit Souji, hang on!_ Without realising it, the brunette’s feet were already carrying himself along the path, faster than if he’d been paying attention to the walkway. He didn’t respond, not wanting to speak over his friend’s voice and perhaps miss something; with more of those terrifyingly raspy breaths, Souji continued.

“Thank you. For everything. For being you.”

“Souji, don’t-” He had to say something. He wasn’t going to let his best friend say good-bye like this, but before he could say anything else, the voice on the phone continued, and he had to listen. 

They were words he’d never thought he’d hear.

“Never meant… to say… but Izanagi… be pissed off…” There was a long, shuddering sigh. “Love you, Yosuke. Partner. Always… have. Please… be happy. Want you to have… all the best things… wish I could’ve… given them to you, but-”

At the words “Love you,” Yosuke had stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes widening in shock; it was hard for him to breathe, and even harder when he tried to take everything in that was going on. When Souji’s last statement - already so heartbreaking that the brunette had to put a hand up to cover his mouth - cut short, and he could no longer hear the rasping breaths, Yosuke gave a choked sob.

“Souji! Souji, talk to me! Say something, partner! Oh my god, partner? Partner! _Souji!_ ”

There was no response, and as Yosuke - tears streaming down his face - begged and shouted into the phone for his friend to answer him, he heard the sounds of sirens, hurried footsteps, and voices. They were too indistinct for him to understand the words, and all he could feel was panic; as the voices got louder, accompanied by the sounds of metal and clattering wheels, the call was suddenly cut short. In his terror, Yosuke called back, but the phone rang and rang with no answer. 

When he’d found out about Saki, he’d been horrified and sickened, but there hadn’t been any panic. Maybe it was because he’d already known the outcome, maybe it was because he was numb from the shock, maybe it was because he hadn’t known her as well as he’d known Souji. _Maybe_ , his heart whispered, _it was also because you didn’t know her well enough to love her like you love Souji_.

Covering his head with his arms, he sank to a crouch. “Souji… no, Souji, no partner, no, Souji, oh my god be okay be okay this isn’t happening this isn’t happening, oh _Souji_ , no, no partner-” He kept up the mantra, feeling his world spinning increasingly out of control; it wasn’t until he felt a sharp mental “slap” from Jiraiya that he stopped, swallowing the rest of his words. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, he forced himself to stand, then leaned over, shakily, to pick up the bike he hadn’t even realised he’d dropped, he was so panicked. 

The worst part was that he didn’t know what to _do_. Any time anything big happened, his first response was _always_ to call Souji. What _could_ he do? He couldn’t just go to Tokyo, his parents wouldn’t know what to do, and none of their friends would have any clue; Naoto _might_ have some ideas, but even then, they were all limited by the distance, and-

Looking up, Yosuke realised that in his panic his feet had carried him to the one place he considered a haven - the Dojima household. And even without Souji there - just the _name_ sent pangs through his heart - Dojima was the only answer he could think of, and somehow, _somehow_ , the detective’s jeep was in the driveway. Leaning his bike against the mailbox, Yosuke wiped his damp hands on his cargo pants before hurrying towards the door; before he could knock, however, it opened, and he found himself face-to-face with Souji’s uncle.

Dojima’s first response was to swear and step back - they’d almost run into each other, after all - but before he could say much more he took one look at the brunette’s face (Yosuke could only imagine how it looked) and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Hanamura. What’s wrong?”

Now that he had someone to tell, Yosuke wasn’t sure he could find the words. Crossing his arms, squeezing them against his chest in an effort to steady himself, Yosuke opened his mouth. He didn’t know how to say it without sounding terrified, and he didn’t try.

“Souji’s hurt. He got hit by a car, and called me while he was waiting for the ambulance. I think it’s bad. I don’t know what to do, _please_ , Dojima-san, help me-”

At his first words, the detective’s eyebrows shot up; as the brunette choked out the rest of the story, as short as it was, he could see the same terror and alarm spread across Dojima’s face. He swore, and as he shoved his hand into his pocket to grab his cell phone, Yosuke could see that he, too, was shaking. 

It was almost reassuring, that Yosuke wasn’t overreacting, but that in itself wasn’t a reassurance at all.

The detective made a call, and Yosuke felt some small comfort in the fact that he didn’t try to hide his conversation; after the first few words it was clear that he was talking to Souji’s mother, and even just hearing half of what was being said made Yosuke feel more involved than if he’d been left to wait, by himself, and wonder. When Dojima finally hung up, he looked no better than when he’d called; looking down - although not by far, it was a bit startling for Yosuke to realise that he was almost as tall as the detective by now - he shook his head.

“He’s in the critical care ward, and they’re prepping him for surgery. The doctors are grim. Souji was waiting at the bus stop to go to his tutoring job when a car - probably a drunk driver, or someone not paying attention - hit him.” His face twisted as he said this, and Yosuke remembered the story about Nanako’s mother; he felt guilty for coming to the detective now, but he also knew that Dojima cared so much about Souji that he’d want to know sooner rather than later.

There wasn’t much else to the story, but knowing that Souji was, at least for the moment, still _alive_ breathed the quietest sliver of relief into the brunette’s heart. With Souji’s last words, and the sudden stillness on the other end of the phone, he could only imagine the worst. Dojima chewed his lip, then finally lifted his phone again. 

“I’m going to Tokyo. Souji’s too- he’s like a son to me, and I can’t just stay here with that going on.” At these words, Yosuke’s heart leapt; hands shaking, he waited for the detective to finish his call before reaching for his sleeve.

“Take me. _Please_ , Dojima-san.”

“Huh? Hanamura, what are you-” He looked startled, and was about to shake his head, but he took another look at Yosuke’s face and stopped even as the brunette started to plead.

“It’s _Souji_. I can’t just leave him alone, and he’s my best friend, and I can’t think about losing him, and-”

Yosuke knew he was babbling, but at the moment he didn’t _care._ He needed to see Souji, needed to be there in case anything- 

That was a thought he wasn’t going to complete, but the intent stood. 

Sighing, the detective rubbed his face. “You’re on summer break, right? You’re not working at Junes any more?” When Yosuke nodded and then shook his head, he sighed again. “I can’t promise anything, but I’ll call your parents.”

“ _Thank you_.” He knew his voice was shaking, and Dojima gave him a faint, troubled smile as he lifted his phone again. 

* * *

Yosuke never found out what argument Dojima used to get his parents’ approval, but somehow he _did_ get approval, and Yosuke dashed home to spend the next half-hour throwing some clothes into a bag. Waiting for Dojima to pick him up, he texted the group - only the most basic information, although that in and of itself was enough to freak everybody out - and he’d only managed to pace around the kitchen table a handful of times before he heard the horn outside telling him that it was time to go. (Teddie had taken to spending time on-and-off in the TV world, every few days, so Yosuke had asked Naoto and Kanji to make sure he knew what was going on when he got back.)

He found, when he climbed into the back seat, that Dojima had broken the news already to Nanako; the little girl looked miserable, and as soon as the door was closed she turned to bury her face against his arm. “Yosuke-nii-i-i-i,” she sobbed.

Her tears brought his own out, and he wrapped his arms around her to hug her tightly even as he sensed Dojima watching them from the rearview mirror. At one point Yosuke would have felt very self-conscious about what kind of image he was projecting, but he was beyond that now; Souji was hurt, possibly dying, and Yosuke felt like his world was ending. 

And Souji had said he _loved_ Yosuke. That wasn’t anything the brunette had _ever_ expected to hear, but the words had brought all of those unexamined, half-acknowledged feelings to the surface and he knew that he’d been in love with Souji for months. What had started out as hero-worship - from the cool way Souji had presented himself on the first day, to the smile on his lips when he asked Yosuke to be his friend after facing the brunette’s shadow - blossomed into something beyond simple friendship. Somehow, _Souji_ , as cool as he was, had wanted to be friends with _Yosuke_ , and that was the beginning of the most important relationship the brunette had ever had.

_Would_ ever have.

When he’d first called Souji “partner,” he’d really only meant it in terms of the TV world, defeating shadows, fighting back-to-back. But “partner” also had a deeper connotation, and it wasn’t long before that, too, was true - even if Yosuke had never actually _faced_ that fact. It was too easy to leave it untouched and unspoken, especially as the date Souji was going to leave Inaba came closer and closer. 

Yosuke had never regretted anything more in his life. As he held onto Nanako, both of them feeling misery that no words could do justice to, he thought through all of the times the two had spent together. Sleepovers, study sessions, hanging out at Junes, long walks in the summer twilight as they talked about life - even high schoolers could be philosophical, it seemed - and even those dark days in November when everything had been going wrong and Souji withdrew into himself, only opening up enough for Yosuke to support him. 

_First Saki-senpai, now Souji. This isn’t fair! What did I ever do to deserve this?_

Yosuke knew he was being selfish to think such a thing, and he also knew better than most people that life wasn’t always fair; he’d learned that the hard way, listening to Adachi bragging about his senseless murder of Saki, whose only crime had been the fact that she hadn’t been willing to debase herself for the depraved detective. But now, with Souji lying in a hospital with no guarantee that Yosuke would ever even be able to talk to him again, much less let him know how he felt… 

It was enough to drive him into the worst despair he’d ever experienced, and only Nanako’s presence kept him from giving into the deep, heart wrenching sobs that threatened to wrack his body.

_I never let myself think about how I felt because I was too afraid that he’d say no, but even more afraid that the distance would turn it into something too hard to handle. But it never did._ Even with Souji being hundreds of miles away, it had never felt like there was any more distance between them than could be bridged by a breath and a whisper. _And now I’ll never be able to tell him. I’m so stupid._

The only blessing - and a poor one it was - about his misery was the fact that he was too engrossed to see the miles pass by. They’d taken the train from Okina, since a nine-hour-drive was too much even for Dojima, and Yosuke and Nanako had continued to cling to one another, each providing as much solace as they could to the other. Every time Dojima’s cell phone rang - and it did, quite often, as he’d taken an unexpected leave of absence from work - Yosuke felt his heart plummet into his stomach. At least none of the calls were about Souji, although that also meant that the turning point hadn’t happened, either.

The brunette wanted to talk to Dojima about the situation, but he could tell that the detective was too engrossed in his own thoughts. Nanako fell asleep first, but Yosuke wasn’t far behind; his dreams were cruel and misleading, each one about Souji, about the happy times they’d been together, about those half-formed daydreams Yosuke had never let himself indulge about moving in eventually with his best friend, and all of the time they’d finally be able to spend together again.


	2. Chapter 2

It was another call that finally woke Yosuke. He sat up - his back was killing him and his neck was going to make him regret sleeping in such a hunched-over position - but within seconds of waking the misery all came rushing back and he found that he just really didn’t _care_. As he moved the arm that was around Nanako’s shoulders to rub his eyes, the little girl woke up, too; there was a space of time that they all sat around, slowly gathering consciousness - Dojima had fallen asleep at one point, as well - before Nanako straightened up, turning to look at the brunette.

“Yosuke-nii.” Her voice was firm, and the conviction on her face was touching. “I’m gonna think happy thoughts for big bro. I know he’d be sad if he knew that we were sad. I believe it’s all gonna be good! He saved my life, and I’m sure he’s gonna be okay. Right?”

The hopeful smile on the little girl’s face was enough to lift Yosuke’s spirits - only by a bit, but it was enough - and he took a long, deep breath. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re absolutely right, Nanako. Souji’s gonna be okay, and we’re all be together again soon. We can take him books and ice cream and all kinds of goodies when he’s in the hospital, until they let him out, and then we can all hang out. Right?”

“Yeah!” She gave him another one of those wide, bright smiles that always made everybody feel better; Yosuke could feel Dojima watching them silently, with a sad smile on his face, but Yosuke wasn’t going to let that change his mind, not right now. It wasn’t a false hope - he knew just as well as the detective just how grim souji’s prognosis had been - but he also knew that miracles _could_ happen - _just look at Nanako_ \- and he was damned if he was going to let Souji go without a fight. Even if the only fighting he could do was to think positively.

The phone call Dojima had received had apparently been Souji’s mother; Souji was out of surgery and it had been a success, but that was no guarantee that the boy was going to pull through. The odds of him waking any time soon were slim, so the trio first took a taxi to a small hotel near the hospital where Dojima had reserved a room while they were on the train. 

It wasn’t much - just a bed, which Dojima and Nanako were going to share, and a couch, where Yosuke could sleep; he insisted on paying a part of the room rate, although at first, Dojima had looked at him like he was crazy.

“I’m not taking your money, Hanamura.”

“Come on. Please? I’ve been saving up for a trip to see Souji. Maybe this isn’t what I was hoping for, but it’s… please. I’d feel better, and-”

Dojima had looked at him for a long time, and eventually sighed. “We’ll sort something out later. Get a shower and some sleep, we’ll be heading to the hospital in a few hours.”

It was a small victory, although Yosuke was too keyed up to feel good about it. He turned to grab some fresh clothes out of his duffel and was on his way to the small bathroom when he heard Dojima speak again behind him.

“You’ve grown up since you and Souji got hauled into the station last year because of that stupid weapons incident at Junes. You’re a good guy, Hanamura. I’m glad Souji has somebody like you in his life.”

The words were enough to bring the tears back, although Yosuke just squeezed his eyes shut, determined not to cry, not until he had some privacy. Without turning around, he nodded.

“I gotta thank Souji for that. I’d still be a screw-up if I hadn’t ever met him.” He was closing the bathroom door as he heard the detective’s response.

“You were never a screw-up, Hanamura. And you changed Souji as much as he changed you.”

It was a hopeful thought, that he’d helped Souji, even if he didn’t quite believe it.

* * *

It wasn’t hard to tell that the woman who met them up on the first floor of the critical care unit was Souji’s mother - she looked a lot like her brother, and although her hair and eyes were brown, seeing her made Yosuke realise that Souji looked a lot more like his uncle than the brunette had originally thought. She greeted Dojima - and then Nanako - with a long hug; the lines of weariness and anxiety on her face made Yosuke’s stomach twist, and even though he knew he was being rude, he couldn’t stop himself.

“Is Souji awake? Is there any more news?”

Mrs. Seta turned to look at Yosuke, but the expression on her face was much more gentle than he’d expected, and even before Dojima could say anything, she shook her head.

“No, I’m afraid he hasn’t, and there isn’t. You’re Yosuke-kun, aren’t you? I’ve seen Souji’s pictures, and he talks so much about you that I’d know you anywhere. I’m sorry you had to come such a long way, but I’m glad you made the trip. I know Souji’s going to be glad to see you when he wakes up, and I’m sure you being here will be that much more reason for him to get better soon.”

There was something about her voice, and the way that she seemed _so much_ like Souji, without actually _being_ Souji, that Yosuke found himself tearing up again; the fact that she _knew_ about him, that she said Souji talked about him, made him feel both ridiculously happy and absolutely terrified. That Souji had talked so much about him - not exactly a _surprise_ , given that he’d confessed his affections - just made the possibility that they might never be able to talk again that much more horrifying. 

His thoughts must have shown on his face, because he found himself being pulled into a hug, and while it was different from the hugs he got from his own mother, it was comforting in its own way, and he held on with a sense of urgency - desperation not to cry, not to give in, not to give up.

_Souji is going to be okay. Too many people need him._

Even though he thought he’d prepared himself, he wasn’t ready for the first sight of his friend as Mrs. Seta pushed the door open to let them into Souji’s room. The boy lay in his hospital bed, surrounded by machines, hooked up to tubes and sensors and all kinds of terrifying devices. His face and hair were so pale against the pillow that it was hard to see where the stark white of the hospital sheets ended and Souji began; one arm was in a sling, lying still across his torso, and one of his legs, in a cast, was propped up on a horizontal metal bar. He lay so still that it was only the fogging of the mask over his nose and mouth that showed that he was still _alive_ , and Yosuke had never seen anything so _wrong_ before in his life. Not even Izanami.

The parallels between the sight in front of them and last November weren’t lost on any of them. Yosuke felt Nanako’s hand, which had been holding steadfastly onto his, tighten; the little girl turned to bury her face against her father’s arm, and Dojima put a hand on her head protectively in a gesture that said that he was going through his own personal hell, as well. 

It was as anticlimactic as it was heartbreaking. If it were a movie, this would be when Souji opened his eyes, and he and Yosuke would look at each other in a Moment, no words necessary, and Mrs. Seta would cry tears of joy, and Dojima would utter a muffled expletive in his relief while Nanako rushed over to the side of the bed, gasping, “Big bro! Big bro!”

It wasn’t a movie. There was no guarantee Souji would ever wake up again.

Yosuke took the chair next to the bed, scooting it over - the plastic-capped metal legs grated across the linoleum flooring, but he was too focused to pay it any attention - and once he could see his friend’s face, he settled back to wait and hope. Dojima suggested, in a troubled voice, that it would be less of a strain for him to wait outside, but he just shook his head; he couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to see Souji, and thinking that his friend might wake up when he _wasn’t_ there set his teeth on edge. Dojima just sighed, and nodded, and said something quietly to Nanako, and the two of them stepped outside; Mrs. Seta followed them, although she came back after a while and took a seat on the opposite side of the bed. Eventually, Dojima and Nanako came back in - Nanako had some books, and Dojima had a bag of drinks and some buns - and they settled down on a sofa at the back of the room. 

The time passed just as slowly as Yosuke expected. It was odd, the kinds of things one noticed when one was waiting, too anxious to register the boredom, but the boredom was still there, gnawing at the silence.  The tick of the clock seemed to vary; sometimes it was deafening, sometimes he forgot it was even there. The hum of distant voices and occasional TV theme songs rose and fell and sometimes Yosuke felt like he was listening to entire conversations in an unknown language. He’d hear an occasional snatch of laughter, and knew it had to be his imagination; how could anyone _laugh_ when Souji was in limbo like this? They couldn’t. It was too tragic.

He’d memorised the text on almost every single piece of inspirational art in the room - a strange achievement, as he _knew_ he’d never once taken his eyes away from Souji’s face - by the time that lunch rolled around, and the act of biting, chewing, swallowing, and finishing a yakisoba bun was just another surreal moment that was over before he’d even fully registered that it was happening.

The first changes were almost too subtle for Yosuke to notice; he’d been staring at Souji for so long that he was almost convinced he was imagining it. A twitch of the finger, a squint of the eyes, still closed. It wasn’t until Souji lifted his good hand - the one not attached to the arm in a sling - that Yosuke’s head shot up, and he looked at Mrs. Seta; she’d seen the same thing - it was interesting how the anxiety of a parent and that of a would-be lover were so much the same - and they caught each other's gaze with dawning hope in their eyes. When they turned to look again at Souji, they both let out a gasp; his eyes were open, although they weren’t focused at the moment.

The room went from deathly silent to a flurry of movement within seconds. The shared gasp was enough to alert Dojima, who flew out of the room to get the doctors; Souji’s mother put her hands on the bed, leaning over her son as she whispered his name, begging him to look at her. Yosuke had taken Souji’s good hand in his own, the one that had started to move; after a few moments, it twitched again and slowly closed around the hand that was holding it at the same time that Souji’s unfocused eyes moved up to settle on his mother’s face.

The relief Yosuke felt was as strong as when they’d realised Izanami was dead; even if these signs were no guarantee that Souji was out of danger, he couldn’t help the wild hope surging through his heart. 

“Partner!” 

His voice was strangled, but it registered, and Souji slowly turned his gaze to the brunette. Yosuke _knew_ he wasn’t imagining it, there was recognition there - Souji actually _squeezed his hand_ , and even as Yosuke put his hand over his mouth to keep himself from sobbing “Thank god,” the door flew open and suddenly the room was full of doctors and nurses. Yosuke found himself being detached - firmly, but gently - from Souji’s hand, and then they were gathered in the back of the room while the hospital staff worked. Nanako, who’d fallen asleep, woke up, and they all sat down, looking anxious and hopeful and nervous and impatient, all at once. 

* * *

When a doctor finally came over to talk to them, her words were every bit as positive as Yosuke had hoped for, even if they were still tempered with caution. 

“He’s awake, but he’s still out of it. Some of it’s due to the drugs, some of it to the trauma. The accident was bad, he lost a lot of blood, and we had to do quite a bit when we operated on him. You can stay with him, but be prepared for more waiting. He’ll sleep a lot, and will slowly start to take in more of what’s going on, but I can’t say when he’ll finally be cognisant enough to recognise you or hold a conversation.”

Waiting was _nothing_ , not when it meant that at the end, Souji would turn and look at him and say his name. Yosuke’s joy was over the _moon_ , and even if he didn’t say as much, he knew that everyone else understood - and felt the same way. 

They settled back down - after the doctor left, the nurse had given Mrs. Seta some instructions about medicine and when to call for assistance - but the _silence_ and the _waiting_ were so much different, this time. Distant TVs played familiar theme songs, and every time the brunette heard a snatch of laughter, he found himself smiling. He wasn’t quite ready to join in, but he hoped he would be soon. And watching Souji’s face was so much more rewarding; sometimes, when he woke, he’d turn to look at the brunette, and Yosuke had the nonsensical feeling that his friend recognised him, no matter what the doctor had cautioned. The hand around his - Yosuke had taken it again, of course, and the comfort that holding it brought him was immense - squeezed from time to time, and the grip grew stronger even when Souji was asleep, and Yosuke couldn’t stop his heart from vibrating wildly with joy each time that it did.

Knowing that he was being selfish, he offered to give Mrs. Seta his seat at one point, but she just shook her head, smiling that same, gentle smile that he loved so much on Souji, and waved for him to keep it, saying that she was just grateful that Souji had a friend who cared as much about him as Yosuke did.

As if this were an icebreaker, she started to talk more about Souji’s past, about how guilty she felt that the’d always dragged him (or sent him) around the country, from school to school, and about how they were trying to give him a stable third year of high school. How Souji’s father was still out of the country (he’d been made aware of his son’s accident, but between distance and duties, wouldn’t be able to make it back for another day or two) but she’d come back to live with Souji, having found the best private school they could afford to make sure he had the ability to get into whatever college he wanted. Her tone of voice said that she wasn’t certain about any of the choices they’d made, and Yosuke - who’d once been so angry with Souji’s parents for forcing him to go back to Tokyo even though he didn’t want to - found himself understanding, more and more, the struggles that they’d faced in making such a decision. He didn’t like it - or agree - but he understood.

Finally, visiting hours came to a close, and as much as Yosuke wanted to beg to be allowed to stay, he just bit his tongue and gave Souji’s hand a final squeeze, leaving with the Dojimas after they promised that they’d be back the next day as soon as visitors were allowed again. Feeling suitably light hearted - though Yosuke still had an underlying anxiety that wanted to be back by Souji’s side as soon as possible - the trio went out for dinner, finding an izakaya near their hotel where Nanako and Yosuke could eat their fill, and Dojima could throw back a few beers. 

It was probably partly due to the fact that he’d barely eaten since Souji had called him, but to Yosuke, food had never tasted so good. He just wished that Souji was here to share it with him - but at least now, the chances that they’d be able to share it some time in the future were that much stronger.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's still probably 2-3 chapters left, and I may or may not follow up with an M-rated sequel.

The next day -  having actually slept _well_ , if not _long_ \- they were back at the hospital as soon as visiting hours started, and Mrs. Seta greeted them with the happy news that Souji had actually said her name that morning, had managed to eat something before falling back asleep - and had asked for Yosuke. Just his name, with an anxious look, but when she’d assured him that the brunette would be back, he’d smiled and relaxed, and Yosuke found himself turning red, and he really wanted to sink through the floorboards as she and Dojima gave him knowing smiles, but in the end he really didn’t care. 

_Souji. Hurry up and get better, I want to talk to you!_

The morning passed much in the same way as the day before, but soon enough Souji was awake, and even if he was still too drugged, too out-of-it for him to really _acknowledge_ Yosuke, he still turned to look at his friend, giving a sleepy smile and a quiet “good morning” before falling back asleep. And that was almost enough, but it was also enough to make Yosuke feel that much more impatient - but, at the same, the joy he felt at knowing that Souji was _alive_ and _conscious_ was so strong that it overwrote everything else.

A few hours after lunch, the doctor came by to take Mrs. Seta outside; for a moment Yosuke was worried, but then he saw the placid expression on her face, and at his anxious look she reassured him that it was just paperwork. While she was out of the room, Dojima took the opportunity to step outside and smoke a cigarette; Yosuke was just deciding if he wanted to get up and stretch his legs when the bed shifted, and at the same time, the hand holding his squeezed it for a moment. Looking quickly over to the bed, the brunette saw Souji’s eyes flicker open, and instead of blinking slowly around the room, Souji turned his head to meet Yosuke’s gaze. His eyes were clear, even if his expression was a bit dazed, and he looked surprised to see the brunette there.

“Partner? What happened, what- _owww_.” He’d tried to sit up, but the minute he’d moved, he groaned and sank back against the pillows. Heart in his throat, Yosuke scooted his chair closer to the side of the bed. When he did, Souji seemed to realize that he was holding Yosuke’s hand, and tried to pull his own back - at which point, the brunette squeezed it, holding on even more tightly. At Souji’s confused expression, he gave a shy smile.

“Hey. How do you feel? You got hit by a car two days ago, and you’ve been in the hospital ever since.”

A look of dawning remembrance crossed Souji’s face, and he blinked. “Oh, right. I remember… I didn’t think I’d make it, and I-” Face turning red, he looked quickly at Yosuke, but something in the brunette’s expression gave him pause. “Wait. Why are you here, Yosuke? This isn’t Inaba, is it?”

“Nope. It’s Tokyo, and of _course_ I’m here.” Putting both hands around Souji’s, he shook his head. “You’re my _partner_ , my best friend. I’d be here no matter what. And when you called me…”

“Ah. Yeah. That. I, uh…” He looked away, face still red, and at this, Yosuke tugged at his hand.

“Hey. You’re not going to tell me you didn’t mean it after all, are you?”

“No!” Souji’s response was sharp and quick, and before he could think twice he’d looked at the brunette with a horrified look on his face. “Of course I meant it, I just… I don’t know how you…”

While Yosuke hadn’t _actually_ worried that Souji would have changed his mind, hearing the confirmation still made him feel warm inside, and he gave a steady - if still bashful - smile. 

“Don’t ever scare me like that again, okay, partner? I’m glad you called me, but oh my god. I can’t even imagine what life would be like without you, you know? I’m just glad I get a chance to respond to that confession of yours.” When Souji inhaled sharply at this, Yosuke squeezed the hand he was still holding in both of his, looking down at it as he tried to formulate his response - he’d been so focused on whether or not Souji was even going to _live_ that he hadn’t thought about what he was going to say. Finally, he took a deep breath.

“Honestly, when you called me, I’d never thought about how I felt about you beyond the fact that you were my partner, my best friend, and that I missed you like crazy. But all of that was just… extra, you know? You’ve been the only person for me for a long time, maybe even since the first time I called you ‘partner’.”

As the brunette spoke, Souji’s expression had gone from embarrassed and anxious to surprised and finally stunned; when he looked up at Yosuke with a gaze that said that he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, Yosuke squeezed his hand, putting his cheek against it. He felt tears starting to fill his eyes, but he didn’t care.

“I love you, Souji. I was always afraid to acknowledge it, much less say anything, but now I know what _real_ fear is - I was terrified that I’d lost you, that I’d never be able to talk to you again - I don’t _care_ anymore. I love you, and I always have. Losing you would kill me, so don’t ever do anything like that again, okay?” When Souji hesitantly turned his hand to cup Yosuke’s cheek, the brunette gave him a watery smile. “Dork.”

Looking dazed but happy, Souji stroked the brunette’s cheek gently; he’d just opened his mouth to say something when they heard voices outside in the hall. Instinctively, Yosuke sat back in his seat while Souji withdrew his hand; the brunette felt bereft at this, but given the fact that they’d been in the middle of a confession, he understood the wish to be careful. He didn’t exactly want to deal with questions before they knew what was going on, after all.

It was Dojima, Mrs. Seta, and a man Yosuke didn’t recognise, but could tell by context was Souji’s father, by the way he hurried to his son’s side, and the concern in his voice. Souji’s mother, of course, was also overjoyed that her son was awake, as was Dojima; the bustle woke Nanako - who immediately bolted over to see big bro - and for a while, the room was full of busy, but happy, commotion.

Yosuke, of course, was a little on-edge; it wasn’t like he needed an answer from Souji, but it would have been nice to have been able to continue the conversation, especially as, now that they’d _had_ it - or at least the beginning - he _very much_ wanted to spend some more alone time with his- _well, not exactly boyfriend, not yet. But I’m gonna ask him. That’s a definite._

Well, once they were alone again - whenever that might be.

Every so often, as Souji talked to everyone, his eyes would flicker to Yosuke and there would be an expression in them that the brunette couldn’t quite place, but also that made him feel warm and happy. Once, when no one was looking, Souji stretched his hand out to brush across Yosuke’s, and when their eyes met, he gave a shy smile that almost took Yosuke’s breath away. 

It was _so hard_ not to say anything!

* * *

Eventually, Dojima took Nanako and Yosuke out to a late lunch to give Souji time alone with his parents; as they said their temporary farewells Souji’s gaze followed Yosuke with a wistful expression, and it was all Yosuke could do to limit himself to a nod and a warm smile and a “See you soon, partner.” When they were out at the restaurant (they’d just gone to a nearby ramen joint, but it was surprisingly good), Dojima kept looking at Yosuke, and he got the feeling that the detective wanted to say something, but he’d just clear his throat and pick up his water glass, or order more gyoza.

They took some time to go shopping, picking up a few odds-and-ends, and Yosuke bought a paperback that looked like something Souji might enjoy reading. Eventually, there was nothing really left to do, so they returned to the hospital; they found Mr. and Mrs. Seta standing outside, talking about next steps and home care with the nurse, and Yosuke found his disappointment suddenly spiking. 

_Now that we know Souji’s going to be okay, it’s time to go back. Dojima can’t stay away from his job for too long, after all… and I mean, I did what I came here to do, and I’m sure I’ll get a little time with Souji again before I leave, but… I just… it’s going to be so hard to leave him behind. It was already hard when he was gone, and now that I’ve seen him again, now that there’s this new… thing… between us… dammit. I’m going to miss him_ so _much. College can’t come fast enough, I guess I’m going to have to study my ass off._ He vaguely wondered if Souji was going to be able to go back to school when it started up again, but he was sure they’d find a way. Souji wasn’t one to let little things like almost dying keep him from studying.

It wasn’t until something about a flight caught his attention that Yosuke looked up, focusing again on the conversation at hand; Mr. Seta was saying something about flying out in the morning, and Yosuke wrinkled his forehead.

“You’re leaving already?”

The adults turned to look at him, and Mr. Seta nodded. “It really was risky for me to even take this much time away from my job, but my son is too important for me not to try. Now that I’ve seen him, and know that he’s okay, I’m going to have to go back. I wish it wasn’t so, but this is the kind of job I accepted, and I knew it when I took it.”

“And I know you’ll be leaving soon, right Ryo?” Mrs. Seta looked at Dojima, who nodded.

“Yeah. Work’s been harassing me nonstop. I’m glad Souji’s okay, but I can’t stay much longer. We’ll probably head home tomorrow.”

As Yosuke’s stomach sank, Souji’s mother turned towards him. “Yosuke-kun. You’re off for the summer, right? And I think I remember Souji telling me that you’d stopped working at Junes in order to study for college.” When Yosuke - wondering where she was going with this - answered in the affirmative, she nodded. “I know I’ll need to talk to your parents, but would you be willing to stay with us for the rest of the summer - or, at least, for a few weeks? Souji’s going to be coming home soon, but it will help me _so_ much to have someone like yourself around, since I don’t think I’d be able to help him if something happened and he were to fall, or need help walking. And Souji trusts you, so I know he’d allow you to help him if he needed it. He seemed to be happy with the idea, but what do you think?”

_What do I think? Hell yes!_

Yosuke knew he hadn’t been able to stifle the grin that split his face, and he was barely able to refrain from throwing his fists up in the air. “Are you kidding? Of course I’d love to stay! Souji’s my best friend, and I didn’t _want_ to leave. I’d be glad to help in any way I can. Are you sure I won’t be a burden?”

“Of course you won’t,” she said, smiling. “As long as your parents say it’s okay, that’s settled, then. I’ll call them in a little bit to ask.”

She turned back to the others at this, and Dojima gave Yosuke a rueful but amused smile, and Yosuke took the chance to duck back into the hospital room, finding Souji propped up so that he could look out the window. When the brunette entered, his face brightened, and he exhaled softly. 

“Yosuke! You’re back! Did mom talk to you?” 

“She did, and as long as my folks agree, I’ll be staying for the rest of the summer.” He was practically cheering as he said this, and the smile on Souji’s face said that he felt the same way. 

“I’m so glad, Yosuke. I’ve missed you so much.” Biting his lip, he watched the brunette sit down. “So, uh. Earlier, did you… did you really _mean_ what you said? I mean, I know you’d never lie, I just can’t believe- are you sure… it’s not because I confessed at such a time, is it? It’s not because you felt obliged, because of what happened, or because I asked-”

“Hell no!” Yosuke’s response was almost sharp as he sat his bag down on the bed, leaning over to put his hand on top of Souji’s. “All your confession forced me to do was look at how I felt about you. How I feel. All of this is me, and I’ve never been so sure before. I know I was kind of an idiot last year, always talking about girls, but I promise that nobody’s ever made me feel like you do.” There had been Saki-senpai, but… she’d been different. There had never been any time to explore what could have been between them, and that… well, it wasn’t okay, but he was okay now. And Souji was Souji, the brightest part of Yosuke’s life. 

As Yosuke said this, Souji searched his face; what he saw must have convinced him, because he inhaled softly, turning his hand to cup the brunette’s. “I’ve never felt this way about anybody, either.” His voice was quiet, and Yosuke leaned in instinctively; although there were too many casts and bandages and other barriers, Souji’s lips were still soft and inviting - with their gentle half-smile - and Yosuke took advantage of how close the two were sitting to place a short, simple kiss on them. It was his first kiss, and he suspected it was Souji’s, and it wasn’t much more than the brushing of lips, but it meant the world to him, and to go by Souji’s wide smile and the pink on his ears, he’d enjoyed it, too. 

It didn’t last more than a few seconds, but it still made Yosuke breathless; as he leaned back to try to catch his breath, Souji put his fingers up to his lips in a gesture that almost made Yosuke lean in again, except that the silver-haired boy was talking and Yosuke never wanted to miss anything he had to say.

“Will you go out with me, Yosuke? Even if you can’t stay and you have to go back?”

Blinking for a moment, Yosuke started to laugh. “Well, you got there ahead of me. I was going to ask you the same thing, which had better answer your question - of course I will. And I’ll do whatever I have to do to make sure my folks _let_ me stay.”

“Yosuke…” Souji sounded happier than the brunette had ever heard before - other than, perhaps, times when Nanako was around - and he’d just taken Yosuke’s hand, lacing their fingers together, when the door opened and everyone came in. The boys froze, and for a moment it seemed as if either might pull back, but as if in unison they settled back down, hands still linked, although Yosuke was certain that he’d never been so red-faced in his life before. It was a very little comfort that Souji was blushing just as hard.

Mrs. Seta looked at the two of them and started to laugh. “Aha, I told you, honey. Didn’t I?” Souji’s father wasn’t exactly smiling - not like his wife was - but he didn’t seem terribly upset about the situation as he nodded.

“Yes, you did, dear. I should have known better than to doubt your instincts.”

At this, Mrs. Seta gave them the welcome information that she’d called and spoken to Yosuke’s parents, and that they’d agreed to let their son stay for a few weeks, at least, and that they’d talk about the situation with Yosuke that night - a subtle reminder for him to call them, of course. Given that the sky was starting to turn orange, and that Souji’s father was leaving the next day, Yosuke figured that it was time to let the Setas have some family time together, anyway. Besides, there was a look on Dojima’s face that told the brunette that he _probably_ didn’t want to push his luck right now, so he gave Souji’s hand a final squeeze and let it go. He gave his boyfriend the book that he'd bought while they were out, and Souji loved it just as much as the brunette had hoped he would.

They exchanged soft smiles - Yosuke _really_ wanted to kiss Souji again, but knew that really wouldn’t fly, not right now - and he said his farewells to his boyfriend’s ( _boyfriend!_ ) parents, and he and Dojima and Nanako headed out. After dinner and some walking around - Yosuke could tell that the detective still had stuff on his mind, although Nanako was so cheerful and talkative that she easily filled the silence - they headed back to the hotel. Once Nanako was in bed, Dojima jerked his head towards the door as he pocketed a room key. 

Swallowing, Yosuke slipped his flip-flops back on and followed him out into the hall; the detective silently headed for the small room at the end of the corridor where the vending machines were and, just as silently, bought a pack of cigarettes. It wasn’t until he’d taken one out, lit it, and exhaled a few times that he turned towards the brunette. 

“Look, I’ve known there was something between you and Souji since last year, probably since before either of you figured it out. I’m not going to go against my sister’s decision, or your parents’, or whatever. I’m just going to tell you to be good to him. I can tell how much you care about him, and I’m glad, but I also know what he’s been through, and how hard he takes things. Don’t be another reason he feels like he needs to withdraw. Make sure you know what decisions you’re making before you make ‘em, okay?”

Yosuke’s first instinct was to bristle at this - _of course I’m certain! Of course I know what I’m doing! I’d never hurt Souji, or leave him!_ \- but he _also_ remembered meeting Souji, and how he'd been his first few weeks in Inaba. How quiet Souji was, how withdrawn, how he held himself apart from the others. The brunette remembered November, and the quiet burden Souji had taken onto his own shoulders, almost letting it kill him before Yosuke had smashed the barriers he’d tried to erect. They _didn’t_ know what the future held, and that was something he had to remember.

But he _did_ know his heart, and he knew a lot more about facing his true self and being true to himself than most anyone _not_ on the Investigation Team would understand, and he trusted his feelings. He loved Souji, and wanted to be with him.

He nodded. 

“I understand, Dojima-san. I promise. I’ll always be open with Souji and I’ll always treat him with love and respect.”

There was a bittersweet smile on the detective’s face, but the brunette’s words seemed to be enough, so he gave a long sigh - a long drag on his cigarette - and nodded again. “All right, Hanamura. I’m going to bed, now. Don’t be up too late.”

He headed back down the hall, and Yosuke took a moment for himself, grabbing a melon soda out of one of the machines; usually he preferred orange, but Souji’s favourite was melon, and Yosuke felt like indulging his sentimental side for once.

After all, Souji was going to be okay - and Yosuke was going to be able to stay by his side. 

_Even though it was a shitty way for it to happen… I don’t have to miss Souji anymore. I don’t have to be lonely anymore._

He couldn’t stop himself from smiling.


End file.
